The Blog

series of unfortunate events:the final chapter


okay where were we.

ah yes, seeing gray after the water.
read part one.
read part two.
well much to my dismay, the black crayon did not in fact come completely out, but at least it wasn’t coming off onto the clothes like it did to that first unfortunate load of laundry.

i didn’t read to the boys that night.
i went to bed rather early and feeling rather defeated.

the next day was just like every other NORMAL day. i finally got to clean the house. boys had only one more day till school got out for the summer and i was determined to start the summer with a clean house and try to keep it on a schedule.
when i had a few hours left before the older boys got home, i started to try to write the pattern to the bag. i mean, circumstances had put it off already for a whole week, now was the time to get it out before the weekend. it would be perfect that way.

i had in fact felt like my bad luck was done and over with. kids come home all is well, no homework is to be done. so i treat them to letting them play video games right after school. they are giddy, i really just need one more hour and then i’ll be good to go with the pattern.

the oldest of the noise makers wants to install and play a game on my i touch. now i know everyone and their dog. (or so it seems i guess) has an i phone or i touch…i held my ground NOT to get one for a long time, but i was given one for mothers day. why did i hold my ground not to get one for so long?
because of this conversation:

“mom, can we get the blah de be blah game for the i touch? can we can we can we? PLEEEEEEEEEASEE!!!…pleasee!!!!!!”
to which the next two boys chime in “oh can i have a turn i want to play i want to play please please please i want to play let me play is it my turn?!!!!!” but just imagine it as a broken record sort of thing. katie even chimes in with a “i want a turn!” she doesn’t even know what she wants a turn on but she’ll chime in anyways.
to which i answer (repeatedly mind you) “NO. it costs money. nope, it costs money. uhuh it costs money.”

till i finally break and say “but you can do some that are free i guess. here let me sign in and i’ll get you in the app section.”

the boys high five and put a slash in the air as in “oh yeah boys 1, mom negative bazillion.”

oh, and here’s also where the stupid button was hit.
as in how can you be soooooooooo stupid to let your 10 year old into a section where all he has to do is hit “buy now” twice and… well there you go, you bought it.

next couple of events go in regular motion…

kid behind me doing who knows what (well i know now) on the i touch, with my back to him on the computer finishing up my pattern writing. i finally finish the pattern. as i’m getting ready to shut everything down. i get a little notice saying that i have new mail from i tunes…
i think “hmmm do they tell you every time you get a free app as well?” um duh no.

i click on the email.

now the next series of events happen in slow motion.

i read :
transaction $99.99 fish pearls
transaction $4.99 fish pearls
transaction$4.99 fish pearls

things start clicking in my head and slowly i turn around to face the 10 year old about to lose his life. and as if he could sense the anger coming from my corner of the room, he looks up with a deer in headlights look.


yup you got it, me when i turn around and go ape poop on the kid

i sputter “what? how? what?!! what did you just buy?!!! what are FISH PEARLS?!”

child about to lose his life “what? how did you know about the pearls? they were free.”

“first off, i’m your mother and just understand this right now because i won’t remind you again, I KNOW EVERYTHING AND WILL KNOW EVERYTHING. even when i don’t let you know i know, or you think i don’t know about it…I WILL.
and second off when did 99 bucks equal free? give me the the i touch now.”

at this point the kid feels really bad. says he didn’t know they cost money. but i’m not going to let him off the hook. i tell him he owes me the money and we’ll go to the bank and take it out of his account tomorrow. that’s if the house doesn’t burn down or the car explode or who knows what else will come our way tomorrow.

i call the husband and leave him a message along the lines “get this, your kid just cost you $111 plus tax which comes out to $116 in pearls…for a fish game on the i touch.”

he calls back and says “okay seriously? have you been making the bed?”
he knows my philosophy in not making the bed.

i do have to say that apple was great to us, and after explaining to the people at apple they reversed all charges. thank you apple!

i got in my car a couple days later and went to my in laws and waited for the husband to be done with his army stuff. i didn’t want to tempt fate any more by myself. at least this way i could conquer what come may with others around.
we had a lovely time.
and i started to write and post my story.

we drove home yesterday night with the husband…only to find ALL of our garden plants, dead.
i had forgotten to take them in when we left to escape my bad luck.
with the frost at night and the heat in the day. they didn’t stand a chance.

we’re buying all new plants tomorrow.
and i’m making my bed.
and staying away from the plants.
per the husband’s request.

the end.
please let it be the end.

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