The Blog

“jerry” this one’s for you (arrrrg)


i got to go to walmart the other day with out the boys. it was just me and katie, and so i had a rather somewhat pleasant experience UNTIL i got to the checkout line. hmmm…hi my name is vanessa and this is my story on how i would love to break up with walmart, but i can’t.
got up to the checkout line, and i thought “SCORE!” the lanes all had only 2 people WOW. must be my lucky day, oh no no, no not so much, read on…i picked a lane because the lady in lane 3 had like 5 more items than the lady in lane 4 (kicking myself STILL!). i look at my watch, 5:30, good, half an hour till i need to be at the hospital for katie. so i sit there, and i sit there, and then i start to cue in the the lady that had 5 more items was done getting her stuff put in bags and was paying with her debit card. ooookay, i look at my lane, lady in front of me still reading the tabloids, lady at check out talking to ladies in the front, guess it was a mother and daughter, and they were reliving the experience of what a horrible person the younger of the two’s mother in law was. i guess she never gives any presents to her son, and the only thing she’s ever given to him was when he was born, a onesie…A ONESIE!!! looking over to the other lane…another guy (who would of been me had i chosen wisely) was getting his stuff scanned…okay ladies saying goodbye to “jerry” my checkout lady. at this point i start putting my stuff on the counter, at a veeeery slooooooow speed, all due to the fact that the woman was scanning things at such a slow rate, all i could do was hear the”beep” of the next checkout lady and how fast and efficient she was. at this point i look and i really want to be over in the next lane (look at my watch, oh my, 5:45!) i hate to be late, and i have NEVER been late to a doctors appointment, i’m the one who always makes it at least 10 minutes early. now i’m starting to HATE jerry. okay hates kind of harsh. but it gets to that point, read on…jerry looks at every single item in the nice lady reading the tabloids load. i’m starting to sweat, all my stuff finally gets on the counter, and i am PAINFULLY aware that the checkout #4 lady has yet again efficiently gotten everyone through, and she had a little bit of a lull, and was looking at a book. me twitching, i start contemplating to put everything back into my cart and going to efficient lady, but my “jerry” was done ringing up and it was now my turn! (YEAH!) 5:49, oh dear goodness. jerry starts checking out my stuff literally…she looks at it as she sloooowly scans it. i restrain with all my power not to jump over there myself and start checking things out 3x’s as fast, i just sit there and twitch, and start looking around…i must look like i’m on something…someone approaches “hey jerry!” OH NO! WALK WAY SHE DOESNT NEED DISTRACTIONS!!! she PUTS down my item and and looks and smiles “hi bob!” don’t know if that’s his name dont care, starting to loath jerry for giving me so much anxiety. resumes checking me out, finally its all done my amount is given and i’m all done, all she has to do is give me my receipt, another lady approaches “hey jerry how are ya?” OH HE__ NO! in the MIDDLE of reaching for my receipt, she stops, and i would of left but her hand was on my last bag in the middle of giving it to me. i start to laugh out loud, yes i’m going crazy and it’s because of jerry and my inability to be late anywhere. and i start to think “thanks jerry i get to blog about you!” after her and willomeena (not real name) finish their debate whether suzy was being sincere when she invited jerry over to her girls night, they say goodbyes i get my receipt and i’m pretty sure i need a shot of something to ease me! look at my watch and it’s 5:56. why didn’t i say something to her? i couldn’t i don’t know why, i’m not shy, but she was a nice lady, just a little too laid back to be my checker that day. so as much i feel like i’m in a horrible relationship with walmart and would love to break up with it, but i can’t, for there are no other fish in the sea at this point. oh and i got to my appointment 2 minutes late, and my world didn’t end.